Sophomoric Seductions

Sophomoric Seductions
-Original Text February 2007-

Maybe it was the twinkle in your eye
or the smile you gave me walking down the hall.
Maybe it was in the curls of your hair
or that grin with its perfect dimples on each side,
that always left me wanting to know more,
to know what that look was for.

Maybe it was the way your eyelashes were longer than mine,
even though I caked on my mascara every morning.
Or it was in the way you laughed at me
in the hallway or the science lab
and tied my shoes or took up my lunch tray.
Everyday.

Maybe it was the way your eyes mirrored mine,
laughing out loud and sharing every secret
without ever making a sound.
Yours were always more brown and beautiful than mine could ever be.
I changed the color constantly trying to get you to notice,
but you never did.

Maybe it was the time you kept looking at me,
barely, out of the corner of your eye.
That night before Christmas,
when your brothers wouldn't leave us alone,
and we both knew exactly where that night was going.
And I pretended not to notice.

Maybe it was the way you saw straight into my soul
as we lay silently on your couch.
The rest of the world slipped away
and all I could hear were our heartbeats.
I stopped breathing and hoped my life would end
long before that moment ever would.

Maybe it was simply the way you looked at me,
like you had me all figured out,
but couldn’t begin to understand me.
So often I should have felt disappointment,
yet you always managed to impress me.
And I don’t know why.

Maybe it was all in your eyes,
the way I felt safe with your hands on my back,
and convinced myself that the debate between
love
and lust
wasn't really on your mind.


But then again,
it's not like you ever knew the difference.